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Aug
28

slowly, with wonder

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You have said, “Seek my face.”

My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek.”

Psalm 27:8 esv

 

I am a slow thinker, a slow writer, certainly a slow task completer.

I linger over problems, dwell in my thoughts, sometimes just up and disappear so I can exist in silence, so I can hear God whisper.

I do not know why God instilled this in me, this becoming overwhelmed, this getting lost in the plethora of tasks that creates a striving to simply keep up.

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Overwhelmed and slow moving seem odd characteristics to gift.

For the last few years, my life has taken quite a few unexpected  twists and turns and surely, had I been in control, I would never have planned it all quite this way.

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But I am not the omnipotent One .

I have battled God and His will often, with stubbornness and zeal, only to find myself surrendering with finality soon after my lines are drawn.  

In the solitude that comes after, God’s presence is consuming: 

I discover how weak I am, how strong Jesus is.

Always His timing is perfect because always His plan is perfect.

In this alone, I must trust, so that I may faithfully follow. 

photo (2)Trusting God, it can feel much like falling, eyes closed and backwards,in a dream; flailing and fearful. Yet I know enough to hold still, be patient, certain He will catch me.

That is faith, the knowing He already is in my next moment. 

And that is why God instilled the dawdler in me: so I do not miss Him in my panic as He quietly pervades my thoughts and lingers in each moment before me that I might fully experience all that He reveals. And He reveals much.  So slowly, with wonder, I stroll knowing the path always leads to Him.

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