Truth or Consequences: What do you do with Truth?

Adonai looked down from the heavens on the sons of mankind, to see if there is a wise one, seeking Adonai. ~ Psalm 14:2

IMG_3443_2It all started with the dream. Scripture waving around like a flag.

And it was lost on me. A friend gave good counsel…“Right there in your Bible. Write it down. Date it. So you don’t forget. Otherwise you will.”

So I did.

And often as I flipped through pages wearing, worn with study, there it would be. The note peeking. It’s meaning as elusive as ever like some endangered wild beast.

Years pass by fluttering into eternity and I wait for clarity, but never ask for wisdom. All the while a lifetime of questions about Adonai wait for answers, but no one I ask seems to have them.

There is this element to truth though; its very nature is tenacious and haunting, nagging at the fringe of your consciousness until, its presence undeniable, it is unable to be tucked away into the recesses of your mind to be forgotten.

And when the discernment of truth comes hurdling toward you like a freight train bearing down…..part of you wants to avoid it, side step it because truth has this way of making you uncomfortable, making you squirm. You can try to filter it or color it to make it look presentable or even soften it with sweet sounding words. But in the end, the truth is what it is and it is never what it is not.

IMG_3459What is crucial for us to understand, is there is always ever only one truth: Adonai’s truth. Perceptions and feelings don’t matter much because when we look at truth we filter it with emotion and fear; emotion and fear taint it unrecognizable until the truth becomes a lie lived in ignorance. For too many years, I drifted in and out of church because what was taught from the pulpit did not always align with what I read during the week in my Bible.  For too many years I dwelled in ignorance believing the problem was me and an inability to understand.

I needed deliverance from my ignorance because that is where satan wanted me to remain, nourished by emotion fed strife and the soul destroying turmoil of doubt, with my skewed perceptions sucking me down like quick sand. And it is from this sinking pit, my questions were birthed amidst panic and doubt instead of a seeking of wisdom. Then one day Adonai illuminated this verse for me:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask Elohim, who gives generously and without reproach, and it shall be given to him. But he should ask in belief, not doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. ~ James 1:6

I was astounded at the depth of my doubt. Where had it come from or had it always been? And why was it there at all?  I knew what I believed, but not why I believed it. I couldn’t defend one belief I had; I simply believed because someone else told me what they preached was true.  Wasn’t I supposed to be ready to give an answer to anyone who asked why I believed what I believed? Everything I believed and everything I acted on was based on a feeling and should it not be based on a scripture? It all seemed too ambiguous.IMG_3553

Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. ~ Acts 17:11

It was then I asked myself…

Am I defending my beliefs or am I am seeking wisdom and truth? Is there a possibility my beliefs are wrong even though the majority of the Christian faith believes them too? Could I back up everything I believed with scripture? I had to look at mainstream Christianity and evaluate whether it reflected a narrow path or a broad road. What I saw reflected was division in every denomination over issues scripture is clear on. One would hope through these fissures the foundations of truth would rise up, but congregates are too busy shouting and making noise and satan sits laughing because he knows the scripture better than most of us; he knows what Hosea says, that Elohim’s children are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

IMG_3543There were things I knew to be truth: Adonai does not change. His word stands forever. Yeshua was my savior and the only way to the Father. Everything else had to be tested, questioned, proven, but not necessarily thrown away. I needed to know why what I believed, if it was wrong, why it was wrong because only then could I properly create an argument for the truth. And isn’t that what apologetics really is at its core – understanding all sides and defending what emerges as truth. Otherwise, aren’t we just defending our opinions?  I knew with certainty the Bible held no contradictions and therefore if there appeared to be a contradiction, it must be a misinterpretation. I knew I had to entertain the possibility that my beliefs were wrong otherwise I would not be seeking truth; I would be defending opinions and defending those opinions would blind me to the truth. I read a lot about what scripture said concerning the seeking of knowledge and wisdom and how Yeshua spoke in parables saying, “He who has ears, let him hear.” I wanted ears; ears that could hear and recognize truth. And I prayed Adonai would give them to me. I became a Proverbs 2 girl and prayed it over and over and over again. I thought about Jeremiah 33:3 that says, “Call to me and I will answer you, and tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”  I wanted to know those great and hidden things. I read again and again John 8:31-32, “So Yeshua said to those Yehudim (Jews) who believed Him, If you stay in My Word, you are truly My taught ones, and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” And I wanted to be a disciple, taught by Yeshua and I wanted to be free. But how could I truly know Him if He is the Word and I lacked wisdom to understand what it said?

So I asked. I asked for Truth. I asked for wisdom to recognize it. I asked for it to fall from above like rain on parched soil. And Adonai answered.

And like a dog leaning into a good ear rub with a deep moan, I leaned into Abba’s truth with shouts of joy.

I was utterly unprepared for what happened next. I foolishly made assumptions others would share my eagerness and excitement in this new knowledge. Instead I was shunned. I was gossiped about. I was called a heretic and a Judaizer.

IMG_3563What do you do when satan double dog dares you to keep seeking as you sit confused and wondering how things could have taken such a drastic turn?

Knowing it will cost you friends.

Knowing it might even cost you family.

Knowing it will cost you everything you once held in esteem.

Knowing people are gossiping.

Knowing satan will use people to undermine everything Adonai is calling you to be.

You take the dare. You follow wherever He leads, whatever the cost. You put it all in perspective: these are people and their opinions whom satan uses for the noise they create for the purpose of your distraction. Adonai has called you to be set apart; to be holy because He is holy. So you turn down the noise, put your nose in your Bible, and you meditate on His Word day and night because that is how you learn who Yeshua is and how to walk as He walked. You pray. You pray often and with great zeal. You pray to be a light fueled by Truth to a broken and dying world. You focus on Yeshua. You make changes in your life by applying Truth, one truth at the time as you learn each one. And slowly, surely, you find the narrow path. You stay the course because we are called to set an example and we can not exemplify a life we do not live and we can not reflect a Savior we do not know.

In the end, it comes down to the words you want to hear when we all stand before Him: Depart from me I never knew you or well done good and faithful servant.

Choose wisely, my friends.

The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion. ~ Paulo Coelho

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